When He is Not That Into You but You Have Something He Wants
I sat with another girlfriend yesterday, who has been through some really hard weeks. Her ex-lover and his new ‘perfect woman’ girlfriend are holidaying in the same place. The romantic dinners and hand holding shoved in her face, there was no way to escape. Talk about a way to ruin her christmas holidays.
It had been a long drawn out relationship - she was never good enough for him. He wanted ‘Miss Elusive’ rather than the real woman willing to stand in front of him and love him, deeply passionately, fully.
Their relationship had hit a bottoming out about 12 months ago, and after his retreat into his cave, as he had been found out. She kept reaching in and taking the conversation deeper, their hearts revealing themselves to each other with all their thorniness and habits of less than noble behaviour. A level of intimacy and depth was created between both of them, that they both came to value. That level of relationship a rare-ity, but both their hearts had been deeply touched.
And then along came the ‘perfect woman’ - a woman that made him want to be a better man apparently - to completely change his ways.
He left….
But he didn’t ….. he hangs around. My dear friend has something that he needs and wants and he cant get it from the new her.
It is hard to amputate something that you love.
But while she remains in contact and relationship with him, he never gets to learn about the choice he made. You cant have ‘Miss Perfect’ and the woman who absolutley meets your heart but that you aren’t that into.
It’s not time for my friend to be in contact with this man, and I hope that she finds a way to separate herself, because everytime she connects with him, she re-wounds herself. He was the deepest man she had been with, he was her him-shaped void if you like, her heart and her yoni are shaped like him.
I know these days that she has learnt a valuable lesson, mostly in showing her emotions to her children. This is especially important as her boys reached young adult. Her young men need to know how a woman’s heart and body works.
I nailed her feet to the floor about 10 days ago, the running away she was constantly doing was so extremely painful, and she needed to be witnessed in her grief and distress.
She aches to be claimed by this man, and he isn’t going to do that. She aches to be held and deeply loved by him.
His inability to go all the way, is intolerable. And he doesn’t get to sample intimacy and depth of heart and then go back to who he is more sexual attracted to.
Women do this all the time, I know I have done it too.