Halloween
Would you believe that where I live Halloween isn’t really celebrated, at least not the way it is in the United States. Although in Australia our children are getting into the swing of dressing up and trick or treating in our streets.
Halloween is such an interesting time, it feels like other cultural celebrations such as the Day of the Dead where they celebrate the lives of their lost relatives – they re-member them, by creating the most beautifully bizarre street parades.
I feel it is a particularly relevant ‘holiday’ of rememberance.
But I want to talk about re-membering inside a relationship – not after it relationship has dissolved back into the dust of the earth.
I often speak to women about the fact that when they enter a relationship with another, there are actually 3 entities in the relationship. You, the other person and death. The fat lady of death is there at the beginning just as she is at the end of everything. But in our culture we walk around not looking at her, or if we do we get stuck in our fear of death or we are running from it.
So just as change is an absolute given, so is death. But what do we do with her.
So let’s face it either you are going to die, your partner is or the relationship will.
So why not live life fully with this mistress of fate, rather than ignoring her. Why not live life fully with your partner, dont leave anything left unsaid.
When I look at my parents for example. My father is a cancer-survivor for the last 18 years, he was given 6 months to live by the doctors and he chose to shun that number and went on living which is great for him.
But what is interesting my mother every day lives from the place of ‘your father is dying of cancer’, and she has the glass have empty theory on life. She doesn’t really take the time to let it soak into her skin that she has been given such a gift of grace ’18 years’ of an opportunity to say I LOVE U every day, and to express ‘her gratitude for him’ to him and to others. But she doesn’t see life that way.
Did the beautiful and talented Jennifer Hudson of ‘Dreamgirls’ and ‘American Idol’ fame, get the chance to live her love unbridled with her family, did she live her own life as passionately as the music from Dreamgirls ‘And I am telling you I’m not going’. Perhaps, she didn’t get the chance to say I love U, but let’s hope she did. There is such tragedy if she didn’t get the chance to say something that mattered to her heart and to the hearts of her lost ones.
We think death is never going to happen. Well it is, and the sooner we live life with that realisation clearly in place and we live with the urgency of our heart’s response, perhaps our lives will take on more meaning.
The question really is ‘Why Are We Also Waiting to Love’?
And just in case
I love U.
Liana